fluktuasi mood

Hujan-hujan, mood agak naik turun abis sakit, eh keliat sesuatu yg ga pengen diliat :p

Jadi makin naik turun nunjam deh haha

Mungkin iya ya, ada orang (ya ga gitu kenal sih ma aku) pernah bilang kalo aku orangnya susah let it go, susah move on. 

Aku gamau mengiyakan waktu itu. Tapi kok sekarang, cocok?

Demam di Infeksi Imun

Haaaiiiii haalooooo assalamualaykum

Sekarang aku lagi tekapar di kasur ga bisa ngapa-ngapain:( 

Aku demam udah dari 2 hari yg lalu, sabtu sore. Malam ini udah indikasi cek darah nih! Tapi sayangnya my dad alias papa lagi keluar kota, jadi gabisa nemenin. Jadi sedih, ga ada yg nemenin pas sakit ginih huhu

Tapi ga kehabisan akal dong, masih punya tante juga yg bs dimintain tolong buat nemenin. Tapi tanteku gabisa dong, gara-gara baca bbm aja jam berapa trus baby-nya juga abis kontrol ke dokter. Yaudahlahyaaa~

Bete sih tapi ya mau gimana.

Jam 3an mamaku nelfon, nanyain gimana keadaan hari ini. Trus aku cerita dong hari ini ga kuliah dan aku butuh surat dokter karena bolos DK juga. Trus aku ceritain juga perihal tanteku yang notabene adik mama ga bekabar. Trus mewek :( *sambil ngetik ini aja airmata mau meleleh*

Jadinya abis dibujuk-bujuk akunya agak tenang mama bilang minta surat sakit ke puskesmas aja. Yaudah. Doain aku cepet sembuh yaa. Aku takut demam lama2, prediksiku sih ini bukan tifoid soalnya beda sama yg sebelum-sebelumnya. Takut DB hiks ga sempet kalo mau nginep di RS. Mana malas minum lagi, mau makan mual. Indikasi infus banget dah. Tapi dipaksa-paksain makan dan minum kook :"

Padahal udah disumpah ya buat jaga kesehatan, tapi gini :(

Badmood

Setelah sekian lama ga badmood, hari ini saya mengalaminya lagi. Setelah sekian lama. Ya. Lama sekali rasanya.
Biasanya badmood yang gini disponsori oleh haid atau kejadian yang bikin mood down. Satu peristiwa. Tapi hari ini, banyak hal yang bikin suasana hati saya jelek. Satu, ngerjain laporan tulis tangan salah format. Dua, ngampus jam 1, nunggu ampe jam 3 kuliahnya ngawang-ngawang (alias ga jelas ada apa ngga, alhasil ditinggal pulang sama anak kelas). Tiga, pulang hujan-hujan, bela-belain pake motor supaya bisa ke tukang jahit di srikaya (gangnya sempit banget, takut bingung mutar kalo pake mobil) eh alhasil cuma sampe imbon karna atasan udah basah kena hujan. Empat, gabisa login di jaringan internet kampus. Lima, sebelum turun ngampus siang beli pulsa 50 eh pas sampe rumah lagi smsan sama supplier sms failed, iseng ngecek pulsa sisa 57 rupiah cobaa :'(

Pokoknya semua bikin sebel. Hal kecil sekalipun. Tadi gara-gara ga bisa login internet jadinya tiduran di bangku kelas. Eh pulas. Trus pas setengah sadar mau bangun ditepok senior ngajakin pulang, dan kaget. Serta merta badmood. Aduh maafkan juniormu yang labil inihh....
Trus-trus kemaren kan makan sm enjela nih, pake diskonan KTM. Nah KTM-nya kebawa Tiara trus besok ujian. Lemes dong. Hahaha maafkan aku ratu kornet, temenmu labil ginih...
Iseng pengen nanya diri sendiri, kalo ntar punya anak trus balik kerja kesel ginih anaknya dianggurin ga yah? Hehehe maafin ibumu ya nak.. Semoga makin hari makin bisa ngandle diri sendiri deh ya.

--

Pengen ngobrol.
Tapi temen ngobrolnya sibuk.
Gapapa, masih ada lantai untuk bersujud :"

Tiba-tiba mewek

Hai hui hei....
Gatau mungkin udah deket tanggalnya jadi bisa mendadak mellow ginih. Hufhhh~
Tiba-tiba aja pengen nangis.
I wish someone which one I want to tell this, read this blogpost. Someday, somewhen you find out when I stopped telling my story was when I feel useless. Unwanted. Sedih kan.. But thats true. This thing make me think and rething, punya tapi rasa ga punya. Enakan ga punya sama sekali kali ya, biasa-biasa aja sama semua tapi tetap damai sentosa.
Daripada statusnya gituh tapi selalu ngerasa betrayed 😭
Sekarang lagi kejar-kejaran koas. Malahan teman seangkatanku si Michael boy udah sidang akhir tadi siang. Ngebut banget boy, aku baru mau ngasihin surat buat penelitian besok hahaha
Adu random banget, ketauan ga punya tong sampah. Sedihh 😵
Sebenernya pengen diomongin, eh ga juga sih. Biarin aja, lama2 juga jauh kayak dulu lagi. Trus akunya sendiri lagi, struggle sendirian. Gapapa, daripada aku ngiri gini, sakit hati, boros energi aja. Mending kebal, ga perlu ngerasa sakit ginih 😭😭

Aduh, maaf ya yg baca.. Aku ga selamanya tenang dan wise. Aku juga punya bad point kayak nulis isi hati gini. Thats not I dont have a courage to clear this, but I dont want to hurt someone bcs I know how hurt it hurts.

22.46
In denial for exam. I feel sad. I write.

Final Project

Heyhooo
I just dream about having a baby, but because of mistake I made her passed away :( then I have second chance to have a same condition, then I really couldn't save her. She died about meconium, means she just a newborn baby :( I wish I never face this case in future.. Amiinn
Back to the title. So, I have give my presentation to my lectures about what I have to do with my final project  last month. It went well, but still there's many part I have to revision haha and today I still wait for my paper, which is with my lecture right now. We have a lil chit chat about my paper, that for her it's really have many error. I haven't consistance to write, I wrong about placing the sub chapter, missed about my perseption so I have to correct to make people uderstand, because this could be announce due to my grad.
Well, this final project really took my time. I can't really focus on another thing if I haven't finish this, revision for this time :| last month, as I told you. I can't sleep well because of this, so I have a big eyes pouch on the day which is still with me til now.
I really hope I can enjoy this, done my research and final project and go to coass mission. Ah time goes really fast, I have to be young doctor soon *shy* actually thinking of this make my spirit up again. It will take a not long time anymore. Pray for me, for my academics things, my enterpreuner things, my everything. Oke? Will see you if I have mood to write again~

Love ya,
Naz

Need someone's help

I wish I could say this.
To anyone I met.
But I couldn't.
Just can't.

I really wanting to give up and said I can't even I know I can. I do believe in myself but myself keep giving me disappoint. What sud I do?

It's really not me not talk to anyone but share this on blog. But I can't hold this, so excuse me please...

Gipsi (Galau Akibat Skripsi)

Aku digantuuuungg!! How nyesek it was. Started from friday til now, this minute, this second. Subhanallah!
Yaaa Allah give me your strength to face tomorrow ya Allah :"
I believe whatever happens is by your permision, so just if tomorrow not mine let it be. I believe in your every plan :)